Apparently its summer time and i didnt get the memo... funny how I hadn't paid attention to that till recently. Of course the weather would have started to point that out especially here in LA. Of course once i go back to SF that might be a different story. I guess i've been pretty out of it with everything thats been going on that i'm not sure where to begin and end my days.

I went for a drive today, about the only thing that helps me out these days, aside from the faces of people i want to see and be around. Still i dunno y driving my car is the best thing i can ever do. Let me try to explain.
Im at a red light. The next song on my mix cd comes on. I hear the tones of the guitar come in and i turn up the volume to hear the full blast of the band begin to create such energy driven sounds. Tool-schism. I dont care for the cars around me that turn my way to see that my lil car is making so much noise. I look towards the opposing traffic light to see it turn yellow. Brake. Clutch. First Gear. Look ahead at the traffic light in anticipation for the green. Rev engine. Light changes, green. Clutch out. Gas peddle down. Engine revs. Im thrust back into my seat as i beat everyone off the line, watching cars around me move backwards with my acceleration. engine red line. Clutch. 2nd gear. Clutch out. GAS. I sit back and enjoy the thrust. like a roller coaster going over that first hill when half of the seats are over while waiting for the back seats to shove them forward. Song is blasting at my ears, by now the guitar and bass are in full concert, the double bass pedal of the drummer is pounding my heart and the singers voice expresses all my feelings at once. Clutch. 3rd gear. Clutch. GAS. I look in my rearviewmirror and see the faint view of the cars i left behind trying to catch up. Still siting back in my seat, holding on to my shifter, feeling the vibrations traveling from my engine to my hand. look to my right and only see the blur of buildings, sidewalk, street lights, trees, and pedestrians flashing past me. feel the road with my left hand, gripping the steering wheel. every bump transfers its energy through the front tires, on to the steering wheel column and into my hand. rev high. clutch. 4th gear. clutch. GAS. the rollercoaster is now heading down that big hill with the full force of all the seats behind it. The blaring song fuels the passion of my foot as it presses the gas pedal to the metal. now anyway i look is a blur but straight. Focus. my speedometer keeps climbing. both hands at the wheel. we are one, i feel what she feels. both are hearts beat fast and true. the air blazing past us with no remorse. For an instant i thought i should slow down, but i can't. she wont let me. and i dont want to.