well thats few weeks have been going alright. October was pretty dam crazy for me just busy too. Pretty much a mixture of driving back home for bdays or friends coming to visit me. good times. And at the end of it all it seems wierd and kinda depressing that I sit in my room alone again. I dunno I miss LA but most importantly I miss the people I know there, my family and friends, I guess just the familiartiy of it all. Thats probably whats the hardest part about me being out here is that this place still seems more strange than familiar. It still doesn't feel like its my home completly, more like Im visiting for a long period of time. I know some of you might think that its a bit restrictive and dumb that I still feel this way and that I should really let go and make SF my home, but not for me. I mean i do agree that I should accept it more and I think I am slowly in a lot of ways but I've never been great with change even though things change a lot and change all the time. I guess it feels a lot like graduation still where people go thier ways and even though you remain friends its not the same as hanging out or being near eachother to be part of eachothers lives. I mean you talk but you don't really talk the same way as you would when you were close to eachother and knew about what they are talking about. Even harder when you leave people that you wonder what things would be like if we were nearer to eachother. Guess its all part of the experience of life, but i don't think i will ever get used to it.